I turned 40 this year. Yeah, I know—it’s just a number. But it’s one I honestly never thought I’d see.
For most of my life, I’ve been on a mission. Whether it was fighting through addiction, co-founding organizations, stepping on stages to talk about real and vulnerable topics, or capturing stories through my camera, I’ve spent years building, growing, and sometimes breaking.
But turning 40 made me pause and think about the lessons I’ve learned along the way—the good, the bad, and the ones I had to learn the hard way. This isn’t some Instagram list of life hacks. These are the truths I wish someone had taught me in my 20s and 30s.
If you’re still in those years, maybe this saves you some time and heartache. Or maybe it just makes you feel less alone.
Let’s get into it.
1. Who Gives a Sh*t What Other People Think?
For years, I held back because of what I thought others might think—would they judge me? Would they approve? Whether it was starting RISE TOGETHER or sharing my story in front of a gym full of teenagers, I used to carry this fear of what people might say. Spoiler alert: no one is thinking about you as much as you think they are. Most people are too wrapped up in their own insecurities to care about yours. So stop worrying about what someone said on Facebook or your ex thinks. Live your life for you.
2. Everything You Need, You Already Have
I spent years chasing validation—through job titles, relationships, social media likes, and every external marker of success you can imagine. But here’s the kicker: all the important stuff—resilience, creativity, purpose—it’s already in you. Getting to where I am at today, didn’t happen because I had everything figured out. It happened because I leaned into what I already had. You don’t need anyone else’s permission to be great.
3. Prioritize Sleep
I used to think pulling all-nighters was a badge of honor. Whether it was hustle culture or party culture, exhaustion was glorified like it proved something. Guess what? It doesn’t. It’s not impressive—it’s just dumb. Sleep is the reset button your body and mind desperately need. After burning out more times than I care to admit, I’ve realized that my best ideas, most impactful moments, and sharpest thinking only happen when I’m well-rested and recovered.
4. Make Self-care a Daily Habit.
I’m not talking about bubble baths and spa days (though, hey, no judgment if that’s your thing). Self-care is doing the unsexy, necessary work: drinking water, setting boundaries, taking a walk when your brain won’t shut up. When I’m preparing for a workshop or a big project, those little habits are what keep me going. You can’t pour from an empty cup, no matter how much grit you think you have.
5. If You’re Struggling, Speak Up
I used to think asking for help was weak. Turns out, it’s one of the strongest things you can do. Whether it’s reaching out to a friend, a therapist, or even a stranger in a support group, speaking up is the first step to breaking the cycle. Some of the most powerful moments in my life, came when I admitted I wasn’t okay.
6. Stay in Your Lane
Comparison is a thief. I’ve spent too much time looking at other photographers, speakers, or entrepreneurs, wondering why I wasn’t where they were. Here’s the truth: their journey has nothing to do with yours. Focus on your own growth. Build your own lane. And if someone else is killing it? Good for them—that’s their win, not your loss.
7. Nobody Has It All Figured Out
Not your parents. Not your boss. Not that influencer who always looks like they have their life together. Everyone is winging it to some degree. I learned this the hard way while building things over the past decade plus and navigating the wild world of community work. Let go of the pressure to have all the answers—no one does.
8. You’re Responsible for Your Life
Nobody is coming to save you. Harsh? Maybe. True? 100%. If you want to change your life, it’s on you. And that’s not a burden—it’s a gift. When I finally realized this, I stopped waiting for permission and started taking action.
9. Everyone Goes Through Sh*t
I’ve crossed paths with people from every walk of life—students, CEOs, parents, artists, celebrities, self-made millionaires, billionaires, and individuals wielding incredible power and influence—and you know what? No one escapes life’s curveballs. Everyone has a story, a struggle, a battle they’ve fought. What truly defines you isn’t the obstacles you face, but how you rise to meet them. Some of my greatest personal growth came not from avoiding the hard stuff, but from facing it head-on and refusing to back down - untangling the mess.
10. Surround Yourself with Lifters
You know those people who drain the life out of you? Cut them loose. Surround yourself with people who inspire, challenge, and support you. Whether it’s my team, fellow creatives, or community advocates, the people around me push me to be better. Life’s too short for toxic energy.
11. Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously
When I’m working on a new project or speaking in front of hundreds of students, I’ve learned that humor and humility go a long way. Stop taking everything so seriously. Laugh at yourself - escpecially when you make mistakes. The world doesn’t need your perfection—it needs your light.
12. Learn from Your Elders
I’ve had mentors share wisdom that shifted my perspective in ways I didn’t expect. Sit with your grandparents. Call an older friend. Their stories aren’t just anecdotes—they’re roadmaps to a life well-lived.
13. Practice Gratitude
In my career—whether teaching in a classroom or hearing someone share their story—I’ve seen how gratitude can completely change the energy in a room. It’s not about pretending challenges don’t exist; it’s about noticing the good things already around you. Gratitude keeps you grounded when life feels overwhelming. It’s your anchor.
14. Perception Shapes Reality
Photography has taught me that how you frame something changes everything. The same is true in life. Shift your perspective, and the world shifts with you.
15. Say Yes to Adventure
Whether it was traveling to share my story or taking on a creative project I wasn’t sure I could handle, adventure has always pushed me to grow. Life is richer when you say yes to the unknown - it's taken me across the country numerous times already.
16. Failure is a F*cking Gift
Every failure—whether it was a misstep in business or a creative project that didn’t land—has taught me something valuable. Failure isn’t the end; it’s the lesson you need to grow and level up. So if you’re going to take a risk, why not go after something you love? Whether you succeed or stumble, at least it’s on a path that matters to you.
17. Watch what you digest
What you feed your mind is just as important as what you feed your body. Whether it’s the media you scroll through, the conversations you engage in, or the people you follow, it all shapes your energy. Choose wisely.
18. Invest in Yourself
Some of my biggest breakthroughs—whether in recovery, fatherhood, wellness, photography, speaking, advocacy, or exploring new adventures—happened when I made the choice to invest in myself. Betting on your growth isn’t optional—it’s life-changing. Take the class, read the book, try something that challenges you. Growth happens when you step outside your comfort zone. The truth is, the best investment you’ll ever make is in yourself.
19. Lead with Empathy
Whether I’m mentoring someone or leading a team, I’ve learned that leadership isn’t about being in charge—it’s about connection. Empathy and integrity will take you further than any title.
20. Move Your Body, Clear Your Mind
Getting outside clears my head like nothing else. It’s not just about staying fit; it’s about building discipline and showing up for yourself.
21. Addiction Wears Many Masks
Addiction isn’t just drugs or alcohol. It’s work, social media, and anything else you use to avoid feeling. Healing comes when you confront the root, not just the symptoms.
22. You’re More Than Your Bank Account
The most meaningful moments in my life—being a dad, a brother, a mentor, sharing my story, or simply doing the things I love—have had nothing to do with money. True wealth is found in the hugs from my daughter, the connections I’ve built with people I care about, and the impact I’ve been able to make by showing up fully as myself. It’s purpose, relationships, and love that define a rich life—not the size of your bank account.
23. Shift Your Mindset, Change Your Life
Your mindset is the lens through which you see the world. It shapes how you approach challenges, opportunities, and even your own sense of worth. I’ve learned firsthand that the stories you tell yourself—whether about money, relationships, or your abilities—have the power to build you up or keep you stuck.
For example, being broke is a situation I’ve faced, but it’s just one part of the bigger picture. While the circumstances of my life changed, it was my mindset that determined whether I stayed stuck or moved forward. Shifting from a scarcity mentality to one focused on possibilities opened doors I didn’t even know were there.
This isn’t just about money—it’s about how you see your life as a whole. If you focus only on obstacles, you’ll miss the opportunities hiding in plain sight. Changing your mindset doesn’t magically make everything better, but it creates the space for change to happen.
Whether it’s your career, relationships, or personal growth, the way you frame your circumstances matters. Shift your mindset, and you’ll start to see paths forward that were invisible before. It’s not easy, but worth it.
24. Take A deep breath
Sometimes, life is chaotic but mindfullness doesn't have to be complicated. Sometimes it's just about pausing, breathing, and being in the present moment.
25. Rewrite the Stories Holding You Back
The stories you tell yourself shape your reality. For years, I carried narratives about who I was and what I could or couldn’t do—stories rooted in fear, doubt, or someone else’s expectations. They told me I wasn’t enough, that certain dreams were out of reach. And guess what? Those stories weren’t just untrue—they were keeping me small.
Awareness is freedom. Once I recognized those limiting beliefs, I realized I had the power to rewrite them. Letting go of the stories that no longer served me was like shedding a weight I didn’t even know I was carrying.
You’re not defined by your past or anyone else’s opinion of you. You’re defined by what you choose to believe and how you move forward. Rewrite the story. Make it one that empowers you.
26. Mental Health Isn’t Weakness
Whether it’s depression, anxiety, or addiction, these aren’t flaws—they’re symptoms. Address the root cause, and healing is possible.
27. What is happiness?
True happiness isn’t in things—it’s in meaning. For me, it’s using my story and skills to create change, whether through speaking, photography, or mentoring. Purpose isn’t just what you do; it’s what you’re willing to fight for.
Reflecting at 40
Turning 40 was a reminder of how far I’ve come and how much I still have to learn. What about you? What lesson—or milestone—are you celebrating next? Let’s talk about it.
Life’s messy, raw, and beautiful all at the same time. Let’s keep learning, sharing, and rising together.
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